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"Ask the Expert" -Liz Bywater, PhD

Liz Bywater, PhD, answers your questions about advancing your career, improving on-the-job performance and effectively navigating workplace relationships. Questions should be directed to Liz@BywaterConsultingGroup.com. Please include “Ask the Expert” in the subject line.

1. I’ve just been promoted to my first management position. I’d like to bring my sense of humor along with me but wonder whether it’s appropriate to use humor with my direct reports. When is it advisable for a manager to use her sense of humor in the workplace?

First of all, congratulations on your promotion! This sounds like an exciting career opportunity so be sure to bring your full complement of talents to the job – including your sense of humor. Humor in the workplace can help improve employee morale and productivity. It can also soften the blow of negative performance feedback. In addition, it helps create a sense of community and connection between coworkers. 

It’s important, however, to follow certain guidelines in order to prevent inadvertently offending colleagues or direct reports.  Humor should be kept light and must never be stinging or vicious. Jokes should never be made at the expense of others. If you’ve got a direct report who is particularly sensitive or has no sense of humor, it’s best to play it straight. A good rule of thumb: When in doubt, leave it out. Better to play it straight than risk offending, alienating, or hurting the feelings of a colleague or direct report. 

2. I find myself getting into conflicts with my coworkers more often than I’d like. I don’t know if I’m at fault but I’d like to figure out how to make things better. All this arguing is making my job very stressful. How can I prevent getting into so many confrontations?

This is a really important question, so thanks for asking! Conflict in the workplace is a nearly universal experience. While there is ample room for productive, creative conflict between coworkers, it sounds as though you’re talking about the sort of squabbling that makes life generally difficult and unpleasant. 

To help my clients prevent these sorts of unnecessary and unproductive disputes – at work and at home – I’ve developed the following “ABC” approach:

A: Anticipate areas of disagreement. Is there potential for misunderstanding or hurt feelings? Have there been problems before? If you foresee a problem, you may be able to take preventive action. 

B: Be clear. Clarify roles and responsibilities, expectations, goals, and methods. Think these things through until they’re crystal clear in your own mind.  

C. Communicate. Let the other person know exactly what is expected. Discuss it. Put it in writing. Improved communication will make a huge impact in preventing misunderstandings and subsequent conflicts. With a little practice, this straightforward approach will become second nature. Let us know how it works out for you! 

Liz Bywater, PhD, is a consultant and coach to corporate executives, managers, and independent business owners. She consults, writes, and speaks on a variety of work-related topics, including workplace performance, outstanding leadership, and effective communication skills. To learn more, visit her at http://www.bywaterconsultinggroup.com. To subscribe to her complementary e-newsletter, filled with tips on improving performance, send an email to Liz@BywaterConsultingGroup.com.

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